Yes, believe it or not, I'm still among the living. Okay I'm sorry if I repeat myself here since I think I lost about half of my brain mass within the past few days, and probably had some brain cells destroyed by pain meds.
Day Three – Sun., Nov. 19
The third day that my mom was home was the first day that a caregiver was coming to work with her. I was very nervous, having to "be in charge" and tell someone what to do. I got up as early as possible and actually got there at 7:30am! Crazy for me. Well, the caregiver got there even before me and was getting ready to give my mom a shower. It's pretty weird having someone giving your mom a shower while you sit in the next room. I mean of course I wasn't going to watch, and there was no way I could give her one…that's one of the things we hire these people to do. Can you imagine 85 pound, 4'11" me giving my mom a shower? Not that my mom is heavy. She's a few inches taller than me and weighs a "normal" weight, but she can't really bear a lot of weight or stand up on her own two feet very well. The woman who came was much larger than me.
So after that she got my mom dressed, etc., and I told her the basics, showed her around, etc. She did much more than I thought she would, esp. in terms of cleaning. She made my mom breakfast, we all chatted a bit, she did some cleaning. Time seemed to go by pretty fast but also pretty slow, if that makes sense; the whole day felt very tiring. I ran out and did some quick shopping so she'd have something to cook. She ended up making dinner for my parents before she left at 12pm. I thought that was odd, since she was coming back that evening to help my mom get ready for bed from 6-8pm. She came back that evening and called me before she left to let me know that my mom was okay.
Day Four – Mon., Nov. 20
I was going to go over early again because a different person was going to my mom's, so I wanted to give her the same "lay of the land" that I gave the woman who came over the day before. But I was so worn out that day. Seeing as it has been two weeks since then, I don't know what my ailment of the week was…migraine, nausea, feeling depressed…pick one if you want. My mom told me that she really didn't like this person very much. She wasn't very friendly or comforting to be around, and when an issue came up about meds, instead of calling me, she just did what she wanted, and was WRONG. When she came back in the evening, we realized that we didn't need anyone coming in the evening. It seemed like a waste of time. So we cut out the 6-8pm shift and were now down to just the 4-hour, 8am to 12pm shift. My mom was doing fine with this.
Day Five – Tues., Nov. 21
A total blank. I'm drawing a total blank. I know I was having a bad week. Sick most of that week. Sick most of this previous week from migraines. Tuesdays are "my days" (the care givers go over Sun., Mon., Wed., Fri., so those are my "days off," I go over Tues., Thurs., Sat.), and I have no idea what I did. All I know is that even though I didn't do a whole lot of going OUT, I did a lot of stuff from home, like making calls, and I think all that went on the previous month was finally catching up with me. I do remember calling the agency who sends over the care givers and telling them not to send the same person that they sent on Monday.
Day Six – Wed., Nov. 22
Ah yes, I remember now. For a few days I had this weird virus. Stomach problems, headaches, chills, hot and cold, lots of fun. I just saw a whiny email to Jeff about this. It was weird. No fever, just feeling really bad. Feeling bad mentally too, because on "my day," the third day my mom was home, she was home alone without me there to take care of her. Ugh. I remember those days too clearly now. I remember still having to take care quite a bit of at home stuff though. Calls and other stuff that is almost more stressful than going out! So again I was planning to go over and give the NEXT new care giver the "orientation" but was still not feeling well. What a wuss. My mom said she was okay though. She was very assertive. Not really in a bad way. Very thorough, just jumped right in there and got things done, even things we didn't even ask her to do. She was very nice to my mom and even my dad liked her (my dad is pretty stand-offish and doesn't like strangers in his house). I think the hardest part of the week up to this point was the feeling of guilt. I thought that having these care givers over would help me to help my mom because I'd have days off and not have to worry about going over or NOT going over when I didn't feel well, and here I was already missing days. Technically I only missed one of "my days" so far, but I felt like it was my obligation to be there when new people were there…to be there with my mom when some stranger came to her house, and to be there for them if they had any questions. I guess there's always the phone, but still, it's just not the same. Anyway, we weren't too sure what to think about her. I didn't like the idea of her coming in and just jumping into things. My mom said she was doing dishes and laundry and putting everything back in the wrong place. Ohhhkay.
Jumping back to that afternoon. My mom's first day of physical therapy was on this day, around 1:30pm. I really wanted to be there, and though I didn't go over early that morning, I felt better by the afternoon, plus I had a doctor's appointment anyway, so I thought I'd go check it out before the appointment. This guy was awesome. Very proactive. After all of the boring questions were out of the way, he taught her some exercises and she caught on okay. He was very quick in doing them and even I wanted to jump up and yell, "SLOW DOWN!!!" Mostly leg exercises. But he was really encouraging and informative. My mom has been wearing a leg brace since she was in the hospital back in January, and he said he was going to have her out of that brace and possibly not using the walker by the time they ended therapy, which would be on December 15th.
Day Seven – Thurs., Nov. 23 – Thanksgiving
I felt so bad. We didn't go to my mom's at all. We ended up going to Jeff's dad's house, and my mom and dad went to their next door neighbor's house. This is the neighbor who helped take care of my mom before she went to the hospital in October. I think this was a pretty good choice because this neighbor was so helpful when I wasn't able to make it over, and she brought my parents' meals frequently. Plus, they are right next door, so my mom could go home whenever she wanted. I think going to Jeff's dad's house would have been too much for her. Jeff and I were supposed to go over later that night and have dessert, but we got home from his dad's house late, and my mom said she was too tired.
Okay, my brain is starting to flash red now. It's been through so much pain…I think I better let it rest. Thanks as always my loyal readers.
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