Yeah, I just love the medical system...

My parents' neighbor took my dad to see my mom earlier this morning, and I'm glad she did.

Jeff and I went to see my mom in the late afternoon. Despite being in pain, she was in fair spirits. Mostly she just seemed frustrated. She had been given a pain pill, and I think she said a shot about a half an hour before we arrived; she was alert and able to talk to us just fine. She said she was still petrified to move because that if she did, she was afraid she would make the pain worse. I was just very upset. I felt that she was not getting the care that she deserved. I mean I FEEL that she is not getting the care that she DESERVES. I've fucking seen ANIMALS taken better care of. We stayed for about an hour and a half. I just felt really depressed seeing her lying there like that again, barely able to move. She seemed to be getting better while she was at the hospital. I just couldn't say much and I felt bad for that. Inside I was fuming yet despondent, and nothing would come out of my mouth.

Later tonight, my mom's neighbor called and said that she had gone back with my dad to see my mom agains this evening. She said that my mom was doing as bad, if not worse, than she was last night. She was crying all night and in A LOT of pain. The nurse gave her a pain pill which did not help, and then finally gave her a shot that took quite a while to kick in. They let my neighbor stay until my mom fell asleep. I guess my neighbor pretty much would not leave them alone until they took good care of my mom. We are very lucky to have her looking after my mom. I feel like I should be the one doing that, but I'm so…I'm just shy, demure, I can't stand up very well for myself, much less anyone else. I wish I had more of a backbone.

A short while after that my dad called to tell me that my mom was not doing well. He said she was completely out when they left tonight. I told him that their neighbor had called me and told me as well. He asked me if there was anyone he should call. I told him that I called my aunt when my mom was in the hospital and she never bothered to come down to see her. My aunt told me that she'd call my other aunt, who lives in Idaho, and I don't know if she ever did.

I told my dad that my mom pretty much didn't care if she ever heard from them again because they never called to see how she was the whole time she'd been sick. I told my dad that it was up to him, but that I wasn't going to call them. He asked me what he should tell them, he said, "Because she's almost gone." I told him in an annoyed voice, "Dad, she is not DYING, she has some fractures in her back and is hurting very bad!" He said, "But when we left, she was out." I said, "That's because the pain medicine put her to sleep." He said, "Well what's wrong with her then?"

He could just not grasp the concept and I practically had to shove the phone down Jeff's ear because I could not get my dad to understand anything and I was going to bite my dad's head off if I had to talk to him much more, and Jeff was being totally stubborn about talking to him. I don't know why he always gets this idea that if my mom is in a hospital or hospital-type setting that she is going to die. Last time he thought she had cancer and told all of his friends and neighbors this. Jeff was pretty much able to get my dad to understand. I just get so frustrated with him that I start to get bitchy and Jeff is better at talking slowly and calmly.

The only other complication would be her thyroid, and I have no fucking idea what they're doing about that. When she was in the hospital I was told she was getting meds for that and might not have to have it removed. My mom told me that she isn't getting anything but her pain meds at this place, but I can't be sure if she knows what she's getting.

So tomorrow I have to get on her doctor's ass again for I don't know how many times it's been and figure out what's going on. I keep taking whatever answer for an answer, and I have to stop letting myself step off until I find out what I want to know. I can't just say okay, I gotta keep going until I get some answers. I am so disappointed in the medical care system…whether it's here in California or this area or just what insurance she's getting. I don't know. I want second opinions and options and I know that can get expensive. I'm just tired of feeling helpless. I want to know that there is something we can DO, and if there is nothing, I at least want to KNOW that.