Lessons Learned

I've learned a lot about myself from this experience and I think I've even changed and grown in some ways. I did things I vowed I would never do out of fear. I was more assertive than I've ever been. And I think I've become more of a grown up. But here are some specific lessons that Ive learned...both about me, what its like to have a family member (especially a close one) stay in a hospital, and things OUTSIDE of the hospital, like handling my parents finances, running errands for my mom and dad, and going over to my dads to do laundry for him. I'll list the specific things that stand out in my mind that Ive learned or from which I have grown.

*I have learned that the most important people in my life supersede my fears and phobias. They are more important than anything. I'm sure these fears are still going to haunt me to some extent, but maybe now I'll know how to better cope with them and overcome some obstacles that they have put up in the past. I basically leaned how to ignore them or turn them off, though I really didn't have to do either because it wasn't needed...I didn't feel any of that panic; I only had once instance of panic.

*I was very fearful of hospitals, worrying that I would faint if I set foot in them. I felt badly that if one of my family members ever got sick, I wouldn't be able to visit them in the hospital. Now I'm almost a pro. I lived there for a few weeks, and I even got to the point of not getting lost every day! And riding the elevator, which I also hate. Like I said previously, I actually enjoyed being there because it was a relaxing and calm atmosphere for the most part. I think I also liked it there because I knew I wasn't freaking out.

* And not to mention throwing up (phobia of vomiting called emetophobia). Hospitals are germ central with people having all kinds of illnesses that I could have caught. But I didn't even worry about my emet when I was there. I even heard people throwing up several times and it didn't bother me.

*Ive learned to be more assertive. If I didn't get the answers I wanted, I called the nurse's station and asked to have the doctor call me; if I was already there I'd ask the nurses for info. and not let them go until I had all of my questions answered. Sometime I ended up feeling to timid and couldn't get myself to do anything, but I'm still better than where I was before!

*Ive learned that you cant take ANYTHING for granted. It's important to appreciate the good things in your life every day, because one day they might not be there anymore.

*Ive learned who our true friends and family are...those who visited my mom at the hospital or course, and who offered me and my dad assistance if we need it.

*Ive learned that I'm stronger than I think I am, and I have to keep that feeling going. I hope I can. I'm afraid that because I don't have as many obligations as I did before (although she is still in the convalescent hospital), I may be falling back having less strength.

*Ive learned to be a little more patient. there were times when I was so frustrated about not finding anything out, but after a while I just realized that there was nothing I could do about it but wait.

*Finally, Ive learned that I can take care of myself, for the most part. I think I've become a little more independent, though I have my moments when I feel like I can't do anything without someones help. But I did a vast majority of taking care of everything mostly on my own, and I am proud of myself for that.