Okay, catching up. Like I said, my dad was discharged to a physical rehabilitation/nursing facility on the 12th. Getting him there was quite hectic. My mom had an appointment with one of her doctors that morning, and around 8:30am I got a call from a woman in the discharge department at the hospital. She said that my dad was being discharged at 11am or so and I needed to pick a place for him to go. She gave me a choice of three places. So there I was trying to get ready to take my mom to the doctor and then they wanted me to choose a place to take him within a few hours and I knew nothing about the places. My mom had stayed at one of them but I didn't really like it. I went online and looked up the other two places, picked one, called her back, and she said they'd transport him there.
My mom and I went to visit him around 12pm, when she was done with her appointment. He was quite disoriented and confused as to why he was there. He didn't understand that he would be staying there until he could walk on his own again. He kept asking if the people there minded taking care of him, and we kept explaining that he was there BECAUSE he needed to be taken care of, that it was their job, and that he was at a place where people go after they don't need to be in the hospital anymore until they can get better. It was a long day of filling out and signing forms, bringing him clothes, and talking to lots of people. Ugh.
During the next few days he kept calling my mom all day, asking if she was okay, and he kept forgetting that he had called. My mom would tell him that she just talked to him ten minutes before and he didn't remember. He called me once or twice asking me if she was here and I kept having to tell him that I was at MY house and she was at HER house and he was calling MY house. He called at 11:30pm one night asking me where she was and if she was okay and he wanted me to call her to find out if she was okay. I told him that I was sure she was asleep and he just said, "okay, bye" after he couldn't talk me into calling her.
Jeff and I went to see him during the weekend and at first he didn't know who we were. He kept asking me, "are you still mine?" and I had no idea what he was talking about. I asked him what he meant and he didn't know. I said, "why wouldn't I be?" and this upset him, so I said yes. This was the most confused I had ever seen him. I mean he was COMPLETELY gone. He kept asking who I was, thinking I was different people, and he got really upset and scared that he couldn't remember anything. He did remember my mom though and kept asking if she was okay. He was worried that something would happen to her all alone at their house. He kept repeating questions over and over like he used to, but it was worse. He also still didn't know where he was or why he was there or how he got there. We had to explain all of this to him again and again. We just kept talking to him about stuff that would help him remember and he finally started coming around. By the time we left he pretty much remembered everything, but it was really disconcerting and upsetting...I almost needed to leave the room because I felt like I was going to start crying.
All of our visits were pretty much the same. Each time he asked why we were there and we had to explain that we were there to visit. He always thought there was some particular reason. He wasn't confused anymore about who we were but kept asking when he'd be going home and if my mom was okay. He kept saying how worried he was that he was going to lose her. We had to keep reassuring him that we were fine and he would come home when he was better ,could walk again, and take care of himself. He was back to asking the same questions over and over and repeating things, but it still felt worse than when he was at home.
During one visit he wasn't in his room when we got there and his roommate Bob said he was in physical therapy. Bob told us about how my dad had been acting, that he he was constantly worrying about my mom, especially at night. He was getting agitated and wondering where she was, he thought he left her at the mall and she needed him to come get her, or that she was outside waiting for him, or that I was there and I needed him...all kinds of weird stuff. Bob said he tried to calm my dad down because it was usually late at night when my dad started this, and he kept trying to get my dad to understand that we were home asleep. I felt really sorry for him having to deal with my dad like that. I guess he'd finally had enough because he was later moved to another room across from the nurse's station. We asked him if he knew why and he didn't even realize that he'd been moved, much less why he'd been moved. We were told it was because Bob could not deal with his behaviors anymore and that he was at risk for falls.
My mom and I went to visit him around 12pm, when she was done with her appointment. He was quite disoriented and confused as to why he was there. He didn't understand that he would be staying there until he could walk on his own again. He kept asking if the people there minded taking care of him, and we kept explaining that he was there BECAUSE he needed to be taken care of, that it was their job, and that he was at a place where people go after they don't need to be in the hospital anymore until they can get better. It was a long day of filling out and signing forms, bringing him clothes, and talking to lots of people. Ugh.
During the next few days he kept calling my mom all day, asking if she was okay, and he kept forgetting that he had called. My mom would tell him that she just talked to him ten minutes before and he didn't remember. He called me once or twice asking me if she was here and I kept having to tell him that I was at MY house and she was at HER house and he was calling MY house. He called at 11:30pm one night asking me where she was and if she was okay and he wanted me to call her to find out if she was okay. I told him that I was sure she was asleep and he just said, "okay, bye" after he couldn't talk me into calling her.
Jeff and I went to see him during the weekend and at first he didn't know who we were. He kept asking me, "are you still mine?" and I had no idea what he was talking about. I asked him what he meant and he didn't know. I said, "why wouldn't I be?" and this upset him, so I said yes. This was the most confused I had ever seen him. I mean he was COMPLETELY gone. He kept asking who I was, thinking I was different people, and he got really upset and scared that he couldn't remember anything. He did remember my mom though and kept asking if she was okay. He was worried that something would happen to her all alone at their house. He kept repeating questions over and over like he used to, but it was worse. He also still didn't know where he was or why he was there or how he got there. We had to explain all of this to him again and again. We just kept talking to him about stuff that would help him remember and he finally started coming around. By the time we left he pretty much remembered everything, but it was really disconcerting and upsetting...I almost needed to leave the room because I felt like I was going to start crying.
All of our visits were pretty much the same. Each time he asked why we were there and we had to explain that we were there to visit. He always thought there was some particular reason. He wasn't confused anymore about who we were but kept asking when he'd be going home and if my mom was okay. He kept saying how worried he was that he was going to lose her. We had to keep reassuring him that we were fine and he would come home when he was better ,could walk again, and take care of himself. He was back to asking the same questions over and over and repeating things, but it still felt worse than when he was at home.
During one visit he wasn't in his room when we got there and his roommate Bob said he was in physical therapy. Bob told us about how my dad had been acting, that he he was constantly worrying about my mom, especially at night. He was getting agitated and wondering where she was, he thought he left her at the mall and she needed him to come get her, or that she was outside waiting for him, or that I was there and I needed him...all kinds of weird stuff. Bob said he tried to calm my dad down because it was usually late at night when my dad started this, and he kept trying to get my dad to understand that we were home asleep. I felt really sorry for him having to deal with my dad like that. I guess he'd finally had enough because he was later moved to another room across from the nurse's station. We asked him if he knew why and he didn't even realize that he'd been moved, much less why he'd been moved. We were told it was because Bob could not deal with his behaviors anymore and that he was at risk for falls.
We talked to several different the physical therapists that worked with him. One said that was coming along okay but was still pretty shaky and needed cues as to how to get up from his wheelchair and walk, that he was confused as to why he was there, and that he didn't think he needed the treatment.
A few days later we talked to another physical therapist and she said that aside from his mobility they were really worried about his cognition and memory problems, his confusion, etc. We told her that he was like that at home in terms of memory problems, but not as bad as he is now. They were worried that even when he could walk again he wouldn't be able to take care of himself like he could before he went to the hospital. We told her that before he went into the hospital but he was often stubborn about doing things but could walk to the store, dress himselef, get his own food, etc., and his only main problem was incontinence. They (and we) were concerned about my mom being to take care of him in this state. He's still at a great risk for falling and doesn't know how to give himself an insuslin shot or take his blood sugar level because he refused to do that before and it is something that he REALLY needs to have done on a daily basis. The therapist told us that she thought we should have a meeting with discharge planning and their social service department to make a plan for where he'd go once he was discharged. They were worried about him being able to get back home right away based on how he'd been doing up to that time. The insurance company has certain criteria as to when a patient can go (or I should say has to go b/c they will no longer cover him) like how long he's able to stand, how far he can walk, etc., and I think they're going to base their decision more on that than on medical reasons, though a head nurse said she'd try to get him a few more days because of problems with getting him to take the insulin.
Which pretty much catches me up to now. Today we had the meeting with a woman from social services, one of the main nurses, and the head of physical therapy to find out where he'll be going after he's discharged. And tomorrow they are having a meeting with the insurance company to decide when he'll be discharged, which could be as early as the end of the week. Needless to say I am very stressed about this because there is a lot to do in such a short time. More details to come...
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