Unplugged - Saturday January 21st - Day 17

Jeff and I went to see my mom in the evening. We both got up pretty late and were taking things slow and lazy all day. Jeff took care of the laundry in between naps, and I went to my parents' house to do some of their laundry. By the time I got home I expected him to be ready to go see my mom, but he was still in his sweats and had not taken a shower, nor had he gotten very far on the laundry. Grr. Anyway, he showered and we got ready to go. It was kind of ridiculous really, because by this time there was only about an hour left of visiting hours. But I wanted to see my mom, so we went. I was kind of worried about going though, because I felt off...like I was coming down with something. My throat felt all funky and I was sniffling a little.

I was really glad we went to see her because she had her feeding tube out and told me that she was being given "people food" again...solid food. But she called it "people food." I thought that was funny. And for the first time, I realized that she was no where near the way she was when she first got sick, even BEFORE she hurt her leg. When she first got sick and lost all of that weight, all she could do was sleep...she slept more than she was awake. Once, she fell asleep on me briefly when I was on the phone with her. And she slept A LOT when she first went into the hospital, but in addition to being sick, they had her all doped up on morphine. But I didn't realize that until I saw her that she wasn't doing that anymore! And probably for some time, you know how something changes and you just suddenly realized it changed but you can't remember when it changed?

I asked her if she still gets so tired that she sleeps all day and cant stay awake, like she did when she was sick, and she said no...that she is pretty awake and alert all day. Wow. I could not believe this. I thought my mom was just going to end up sleeping her life away. But it had occurred to me that I hadn't seen her like that in a long time. I also realized she was completely "unplugged," no more tubes or IVs anywhere! I felt happy...I guess that's the only word I can think of...or as happy as I can feel, as happiness is for me always fleeting and not very strong. Hmm...so thats what it feels like to be happy.